Second Thoughts
by escapewithstories
Summary: After Andy has recovered from his heart attack it seems that he his having second thoughts about finding a house with Sharon.


Hello, all! I have been reading stories for a long time now and I usually to just comment as a guest. Recently I had an idea for a story that just wouldn't leave my mind so I thought I would give a shot at writing. So I created an account and here it is.

Inspiration for this story came from James Duff's last blog when he mentioned the exclamation point to Sharon and Andy's relationship that would affect their living situation. And exclamation point it was! So this is what has come of that. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think.

I do not own any of the characters and any mistakes made are mistakes of my own.

Second Thoughts

"Okay, honey. I love you, too. I will talk to you later. Bye."

Sharon disconnected the call with her daughter. Emily had called for their weekly chat shortly after she and Andy had finished dinner. She had intended to clean up since Andy had cooked, but he assured her he would take care of it. Talking to Emily was more important. She loved that he understood. Sharon had made her way back to their bedroom during the call to change out of her work clothes. Now she was headed to find Andy. She had been on the phone for about half an hour so he was most likely done cleaning up. She expected she would find him sitting on the couch catching up on the latest sports highlights. However, when she stepped into the living room he wasn't there. The TV was still off. When she rounded the corner to the dining room, she found Andy standing at the kitchen counter. He seemed deep in thought, absent-mindedly stirring a spoon in what she assumed was tea.

There has been this distance between them lately. Andy has seemed like there was something on his mind, but he had yet to bring it up. She figured he would come to her at some point, but the longer she waited the more she realized she might have to confront him herself. Sharon thought she had an idea about what was bothering him, and if she is right, they would definitely need so discuss it. Dinner had been going smoothly. They had discussed their upcoming plans to meet up with Nicole and her family and Gus had plans to use them as guinea pigs for his latest recipe later in the week. Then the topic of discussion turned toward looking for houses again. It seems anytime Sharon brings it up, Andy either seemed disinterested or made an excuse why it wasn't a good time to look.

They had paused their house hunting when Andy had his heart attack. Thankfully, it was fairly minor. He only needed a stint to be put in, and with a change in his diet and exercise, his health should continue to improve. The doctor had cleared him to resume regular activities. He was back at work and they had even resumed their extracurricular activities in the bedroom. In fact, he was just as doting on her as before, if not more so. Sharon would be the first to admit that she was concerned about sharing space with Andy. These things have a way of ruining a relationship, but it was all going so well for them. Other than the occasional spat over clothes making into the hamper not next to it or someone tripping over the other's heels because they were left right next to the bed instead of back on the shelf where they belong, they really cohabitated quite nicely. The biggest issue was there was only one bathroom for the three of them. That is why they needed to find a house and find it soon.

So why did Andy seem to be having second thoughts about finding a house? He was the one that initiated this next step in their relationship, and now it seemed to be the last thing he wanted to do. If they are cohabitating so well now in the condo, having more space would only be an improvement. Sharon had initially thought maybe he didn't want to be in this relationship anymore, but she quickly quashed that. Andy told her just how much he loved her everyday, with more than words. Unlike her relationship with her ex-husband, she never questioned how Andy felt about her or the sincerity of his feelings. If he still cared for her and wanted this relationship with her, what other reason could there be for him changing his mind about buying a house? One thing was for certain, they would not sort this out if he kept avoiding the topic and she continued to let him. She was going to have to confront him...now.

"Andy."

Andy didn't hear Sharon come from the bedroom and was slightly startled by her arrival, but quickly recovered. He removed the spoon he was stirring his tea with and set it on the counter. "Hey, how is Emily doing? Would you like some tea?"

"She's doing well, and no thank you."

Andy nodded and headed toward the living room. When he passed by Sharon, he paused to give her a kiss on her forehead. "You look beautiful. I always enjoy seeing the transformation from Captain Raydor to just Sharon."

This made her smile. It was comments like this that made her immediately dismiss the thought of him wanting out of their relationship. He said these sweet things to her everyday. He always complimented her on how beautiful she looked. Sharon always prided herself on keeping up with her appearance, but Andy made her effort even more worth it. She had a feeling she could wear a potato sack and he would still say she was beautiful and be just as sincere. So again, why does he seem to be having second thoughts about buying house together?

Andy had made his way to the sofa and turned on the TV. Just as she predicted he had switched the channel to watch the sports highlights. She hated to interrupt this downtime of his, and normally she would happily join him, but they really needed to talk.

Sharon made her way to the edge of the couch where he was sitting, "Andy."

Andy looked up to see Sharon standing there looking at him, "Oh, do you wanna watch something else? I know I always watch the highlights, but I don't mind watching anything else you would like."

"No, no. You know I don't mind watching the highlights with you, especially if it's football," she smirked at him.

Andy chuckled, "Oh, I know how much you love football. I still feel lucky that they didn't steal you away from us. I would've missed you too much."

Sharon smiled at his comment, but her expression quickly turned serious, "Andy, do you mind turning the TV off though? I think we need to talk."

Andy immediately became concerned and shut the TV off, "Is everything okay? Did something come up with Emily?"

Sharon shook her head, "No Emily is fine, but I feel like there's something not okay with you..."

Andy's expression was one of confusion, but then it turned to one of resignation. He should've known he couldn't keep anything from her. He thought if he had a little more time to figure things out he would be ready to discuss it with her. However, the more time he spent thinking, the less he had things figured out.

"Sharon," he sighed, but he didn't know where to begin. When it seemed like he wasn't going to say anything else Sharon spoke up, "It just seems like every time I try to discuss continuing our search for a house you avoid it or don't seemed interested. Are you having seconds thoughts about living together?"

Of course she had figured out what was bothering him. Though it's not like it took a detective to deduce what had been bothering him. He did avoid the topic as much as he could. It's not hat he was having second thoughts about living with Sharon, he just didn't know if buying a house together was the best idea anymore. So much had happened since they agreed to move in with each other, and he didn't know how to broach the subject with her.

"Yes," he could see the hurt flash across her eyes, "I mean, no. I mean, it's not what you're thinking..." he continued to stammer, "I mean, it's just so much has happened recently... And I thought I could figure it out... And..."

Sharon decided to interrupt his rambling, "Andy, I'm not really thinking anything. I'm just confused. You were the one to suggest us moving in together and now it seems you've changed your mind. I don't know what to think. I do wish that you would talk to me instead of keeping it all to yourself."

"I know. I know," Andy sighed again, "I just didn't know how to bring it up or what to say."

Sharon had moved to sit on the sofa next to him, "So you don't want to live together anymore? But you sold your house?"

"No, no. That's not it. I do want to live together. Being here with you and Rusty has been great. Better than I could've imagined actually." He tried to relieve some of the tension by adding, "Despite tripping over your heals and all of us sharing one bathroom," but Sharon didn't seem to appreciate his humor.

She shook her head at him, "Then I don't understand. I thought things have been great, too. I've really enjoyed us living together, admittedly more than I thought I would. I know the search for the house was put on the back burner after your heart attack, but you're doing so much better now. I don't understand the hesitation."

Andy stood up and started pacing in front of the coffee table for a few seconds, but then quickly sat back down next to Sharon, grabbed her hand and looked at her, "That's just it. I had a heart attack. I had another health crisis within a year of the last one that kept me from work and kept us from doing things together like house hunting." He looked down at their joined hands, "I thought my health was pretty good after the whole blood clot situation. I was back at the gym and eating healthier, but I still had a heart attack."

Again when Andy paused and seemed at a loss for words Sharon stepped in, "Andy, we both know that things in life can be unexpected, but you're doing so much better now and we are staying on top of your health. Even your doctor said if you keep up this regimen, everything should be just fine."

Andy looked up at her, "Yea, should be. We just don't know. I don't want us to go through all this effort in searching for a house and then something happens to me and I leave you with everything to take care of on your own. It's not only my health, but our job is high risk. Look at what happened to Taylor! Even before that Provenza came too close. He was lucky he was wearing a vest. I don't want to leave you with a house and a mortgage to take care when I'm the one that has pushed so hard for us to live together. You've already had to take care of things on your own once, I don't want to be the one to put you in that situation again."

Sharon just looked at Andy and shook her head, "Andy," but she wasn't sure how to respond yet. Before she could continue he began again.

"Sharon, I love you. I just couldn't bare the thought of leaving such a burden on you. So I've been thinking maybe I should just find a place to rent in Silverlake like I had originally planned. We can't all three stay here with one bathroom. We will eventually get tired of it. There's just not enough room, but Silverlake is still closer than my old house and maybe we could figure out a way to split our time between both places. It's not ideal, I know. But since we need more room and I don't want to leave you with everything to take care of, maybe it's for the best. I really was looking forward to living with you in our own house, but I think this might be the better for you in the end."

Now Sharon was getting just a bit mad. She loved this man very much, but he could try her patience more than anyone-except for maybe Rusty. It seems Andy was making all of these decisions and deciding what was best for her without even consulting her beforehand. He's always trying to take care of her when she doesn't need him to, not like this anyway. She is going to have to remind him she's been doing this for a while, she can take care of herself.

"First off, I really wish you would have come to me sooner..." before she could finish Andy interrupted, "I know, I know. I just didn't know how to bring it up."

Sharon scowled at him, "Please let me finish." Andy looked down in apology.

Sharon continued, "I wish you would have come to me sooner because I could have assuaged most of your concerns. Andy, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, the next day, or even a year from now, but we shouldn't let that dictate how we live. I don't want something that may or may not happen to prevent us from enjoying what we have now. Is finding your own place really what you want?"

"No, of course not! I just would hate it if something were to happen to me and you would be left with everything to take care of on your own. You've done that before, and it's not something I want for you to have to do again."

"It's not the same, Andy. Jack left by _choice_ and he took a lot from us before he left. If something were to happen to you, it would not be your choice to leave. Jack _choosing_ to leave was far harder to overcome than the financial debt he left me in. Yes, getting back on my feet was hard, but Jack was able to so easily walk way from us without a second thought, and that was harder to overcome. You and I have thought this out. We have made sure this house will be something we can afford post retirement. After the sale of your house and eventually the sale of the condo, there won't be much for us to owe. I'm not worried about the finances and you shouldn't be either. "

Andy nodded. She had a very good point. They made a budget for the house keeping in mind they would retire sooner than later. And now that he had her, he would never leave her by choice. Jack was the biggest idiot in his opinion. "I just would hate to leave you with everything to take care of afterwards since I'm the one that pushed so hard for us to live together in the first place."

Sharon shook her head at him, "Andy, you know I am not one to be forced into doing something I don't want to do." He chuckled at that. It's true. Sharon Raydor could be considered many things, but a pushover is not one of them. "I know I have seemed hesitant or overly cautious about our entire relationship, but that does not mean my heart is any less committed to what we have. You caught me by surprise. I never expected to have this again, and it has been miraculously confusing at times, yet so wonderful. I just wanted to make sure we got this right. Life doesn't always give you a second chance."

Andy cupped the side of her neck and gently rubbed his thumb across her cheek, "I've never doubted how you felt about me and I've never had a problem with the pace you have set for us. I just feel grateful to be in this with you." He paused for a moment and briefly looked away. When he brought his attention back to her he said, "Honestly, I'm scared. Things are finally going great for me. My relationship with my kids is back on track, things are less awkward between Rusty and me, and on top of all that I have you. It's taken me so long to find you and it scares the shit of out of me that now that I have you, I won't get to really enjoy all of this before it's taken away."

Sharon could see the unshed tears in his eyes and it brought forth her own. She scooted closer to him and cupped his face in both of her hands, "Oh, honey," she leaned in and kissed him before adding, "We can't live our lives worried about the what ifs because we miss out on everything and don't truly take pleasure life. Whatever time we have together will never be enough, but I intend to enjoy every moment that we do have."

Andy laid his forehead on hers, "I know. You're right, now matter how much time we have it will never be enough." He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, " I think I just still feel a little bit raw from this latest health episode and it's taking me some time to overcome it. It was quite the shock and there's nothing like a heart attack to put things into perspective"

Sharon leaned back and looked him in the eyes, "I can understand that. It was a shock for me, too. Take all the time you need, just don't shut me out in the process. You're always there for me and supporting me through the tough situations. Let me do the same for you. You always take care of me, even when I don't think I need it or want it. You don't always have to be the strong one. Let me help"

"I will"

Sharon quirked an eyebrow and continued to look at him expectantly.

Andy chuckled, "I promise I won't shut you out anymore."

Sharon smiled and leaned in to give him another kiss, "Good. So, shall we continue to look for a house now? I for one would like to share a bathroom with one less person."

Andy smiled back at her and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Yes, please. Let's find a house. The sooner the better. I very much would like to continue living with you under one roof, but with more space."

They both smiled and looked into each other's eyes for some time finding all the reassurance and love they needed. Andy finally broke the contact to look at the clock, "It's still a little early for bed, and we have both expressed desire for more space-specifically in the bathroom- but what would it take to convince you to share that bathtub with me right now?"

Sharon smiled and shook her head at him, but began to stand up and held her hand out to him, "If there is mention of a massage for me during said sharing of the bathtub, then I'm sure it won't take much convincing at all."

Andy chuckled and draped his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into his side as he led her down the hall, "You have yourself a deal." Outside the bathroom door Andy stopped and turned toward Sharon and cupped her cheek, "I do love you and I really do want to find a house with you." He didn't want her to think his hesitance had anything to do with his wanting to be with her. Wanting her was not the issue. He just wanted to be able to give her everything and realizing he may not have that chance was hard to swallow.

Sharon sighed and smiled up at him, "I know. I love you, too. So much. We will find one soon. In the meantime, we have this crowded condo and it's going quite well." She kissed him one more time and then opened the door to the bathroom. He did promise her a massage and she was going to take advantage of that.

No one could say just how much time they had together. Life can throw one curveball after another, their job reminded them of that almost daily. Sometimes we wanted more from life than we could give or take, but that was no reason to stop living. They found each other later in life than they expected, but they both intended on enjoying every moment of it.

THE END


End file.
